February 27th, 2010 by Sherry

February 14th, 2010 by Sherry

I’m throwing myself a pity party, and you’re all invited.
This weekend has kind of sucked ass. This is unfortunate because it’s a Holiday weekend, and I was so looking forward to it.
Friday there was a funeral. Saturday morning we went to a rather grueling family therapy session, and Saturday night I decided it might be fun to smash my left cheekbone and teeth off my concrete front porch.
I could handle the funeral. I could handle the therapy session, with a few days to recover in my mind. The cheekbone smash? Not so much.
So I decided to turn to my old friend, my blog of happy place, to try and get out some of this self loathing that is making me contemplate cancelling my Valentine’s dinner at my favourite restaurant, with my favourite man, in exchange for sitting around feeling sorry for myself and continually looking in the mirror to see how much uglier I’ve become since the last time.
Brad and I were watching The Lost World: Jurassic Park, having an awesome couch cuddly Saturday afternoon with the puppies. A commercial came on, so I decided to take the dogs out for a pee break. When I opened the door, Peas almost got pierced by an icicle that had broken away from the eavestroph so I thought I’d knock them all down before they landed in someone’s brain. (do you remember that episode of Grey’s Anatomy where Christina got stabbed with an icicle? See? could happen. anyway…..) I leaned too far off the doorstep and had to step down onto the porch so I wouldn’t fall flat on my face. Sure enough, I stepped down right on top of fresh ice, lost my footing and fell flat on my face.
I felt my left foot fly right out from underneath me, felt the wind get knocked out of me when my stomach hit first, and then heard a loud crack and felt a searing pain when my face bounced off the concrete porch. It was like it was all happening in segments, and I could consciously feel each and every one of them separately. Usually when you have a mishap everything happens so fast that it all seems like a weird blur, but not this one. And I can still hear that crack of my cheekbone against concrete. It’s still quite vivid in my memory.
I used every ounce of energy that I had to scream Brad’s name as loud as possible, knowing there was a good chance he wouldn’t hear me. Then I put my hand under my face, honestly thinking that I had to hold it there to keep my mouth shut and my teeth inside so I wouldn’t spit them out, and lie on the porch waiting.
I could sense JoJo freaking out and running back and forth on the porch. Peas snuggled up to the top of my head and wouldn’t leave me, even when Brad came and was yelling for him to go into the house so he could help me get up and see if I was okay.
Luckily all my teeth were intact but, man, did they freakin’ hurt. The entire left side of my face swelled like a prize fighter, and bright red concrete burn rose to the surface of my cheek and side of my nose. Brad brought me tylenol and and an ice bag, when I finally calmed down enough to sit still. Everything throbbed for a good two hours before it became bearable again.
This morning my face is still massive. The swelling has gone up into my eye and down into my jaw and neck. It feels like your face does when you’ve had novacaine at the dentist, except without the numbness. The concrete burn on my cheekbone and the side of my nose is still bright as a berry with a nice bluish crescent of bruising right underneath. The bruising should be just awesome in time to go back to work on Tuesday.
Maybe I’ll wear all black and dark black eyeliner, put makeup on the other side of my face and tell everyone that I’ve gone Goth.

February 1st, 2010 by Sherry

Today was a day like no other. Alright, it was pretty much like every other, except the date was a date I’d never experienced before. Because it was today, and until today I hadn’t lived it.
You know what I’m sayin’? Ya, me either.
I went to work and was shooting glitter rainbows out of my ass, anticipating a good day, dreading a not so good one. So ya, today was just like every other day. Except those days when I wake up on the wrong side of the bed, and I’m not so glittery….and when I’m just ass.
The sun was out. It was damned cold and that ball of fire didn’t make a lick of difference to warm things up, but there was a blinding brightness that was more welcoming than it was annoying.
When’s Ground Hog Day? Tomorrow? Not that it matters, whether or not that lice infested beast sees his shadow or not, Mother Nature (otherwise know as the lake effect weather of Lake Erie) will bestow whatever weather we’re destined to get anyway. I always laugh at the 8 more weeks of winter crap. The calender still says the same day in March for Spring, regardless of shadow creatures.
Peas is chasing his tail. Round and round and round he goes. I swear to God, sometimes that dog needs a helmet. Then again maybe I do, too, considering the amount of joy his exploits bring me. He’s so dizzy right now he can’t stand up straight. And I’m cackling like an idiot. A helmet for two, please.
I ordered a dumpster today. Have you ever done that? Ordered a dumpster? It’s really quite awesome and you should try it. I would highly recommend it. I do highly recommend it. You can throw away anything! Purging is therapeutic. Our basement flooded last week. Our basement is the catch all for all things “what do we do with?” and there was a bunch of stuff that was being stored down there that water damage has added the final nail in it’s coffin. I’m going to heave it all in the dumpster. And then a big ole’ truck is going to come along and pick up the dumpster and take all my garbage away.
Just.like.that. Ther..a..pew..tick!
Have you been able to tell by now that I have absolutely nothing to post today? I just really wanted to post so I figured I’d just jump on in here and ramble.
Oh man, my stats have taken a swan dive! What with the whole “Where’d your blog go? I can’t find it.” and the fact that I haven’t written much, and that whole broken blog thing, not too many people drop by to visit anymore. So I’m glad you’re here. Hai!!
I actually read three blogs yesterday. I did so!! I know that’s not much, but it’s three more than I read the other day. I miss reading about my blog buddy’s lives. I’m trying to make the rounds. So, off I go. My quota is four today.
I know, baby steps.